Dating with a Mental Illness, will a healthy relationship be possible to achieve?

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Written, edited, created, and published By Nisa Pasha — Executive Political Health Guru, Peer Counselor, and Educator, MentalHealthRevival.org

Today, I am 38 years old, single, without any children. I have a mental illness that resulted from childhood trauma I experienced in grade school. After the trauma, I experienced many traumatic events that led to at 19 years old being diagnosed with a mental illness. Previously, before my diagnosis of mental illness, I tried dating during high school years. The first relationship was a verbally abusive relationship that was very unhealthy. I guess you can say my ex-boyfriend during my high school years was a bad influence, disrespectful, and molded many of my teenage negative decisions that I had made. Today, I am free from blaming anyone for the mistakes that I have made, including this particular ex-boyfriend. Furthermore, the relationship was serious at that time. I needed a friend, someone to talk to, and I thought he was someone that I could connect with. Yet, the relationship moved too fast in the wrong direction. He often hinted around, indicating he previously knew about my childhood trauma without me indicating it to him; this was very hurtful. He made indirect commentaries many times that were hurtful. This particular ex-boyfriend was much older than me. I was 15 years old, and he was in his 20s; somewhat a thug, as my mother would say.

In light of my first experience dating, it significantly changed my perception of men and led me to stray away from seeking a relationship. In my 20s, I tried a few more times, but they were all negative experiences, with no way to continue the relationships unless I agreed with myself to have an unhealthy relationship. Maintaining a healthy life, including mental health and wellness, presents its own individual challenges, independent from being in an intimate relationship. I have to worry about myself first and foremost, taking my medication, monitoring my signs and symptoms; to make sure I'm not slipping into psychosis while keeping up with my self-care. In the meanwhile, managing my spirituality so that I do not fall into the temptations of the world.

Before seeking a relationship, I seek to find balance for years and years. Before I take the bridge to welcome the right partner for a healthy relationship into my life. One day, a healthy relationship might be possible; however, the first step is balancing all my affairs, living a stable life, mastering and balancing all the dimensions of wellness. With balance and enlightenment comes positive self-worth and self-value for many years to come. Therefore, I can be strong in communication and self-esteem to contribute to maintaining the relationship along with maintaining my mental health.

Hope you found this insightful grasping the key components!

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